Family Rules for Online Chat (Works for Any Game)

Understanding Tech

Family Rules for Online Chat: Calm, Clear, and Practical Boundaries

Written by Richard – a tech professional and dad who takes things apart to understand how they work, then explains them to other parents in plain language. This guide helps you set simple, fair chat rules that work across all games and apps: Roblox, Fortnite, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Discord, PlayStation, Xbox and more.

Why Chat Rules Matter More Than Bans

Most parents’ instinct is to turn off chat entirely. No chat = no risk, right? Except it does not work that way. Chat is where your child socialises. It is how they stay connected to their real-life friends. Banning it completely isolates them.

What actually works is teaching children to use chat safely. That means clear rules, honest conversations about what can go wrong, and a promise that they will not be in trouble for telling you if something feels off.

I understand because I am laid back by nature – my wife says I have no sense of urgency. That same relaxed approach has taught me something useful about parenting: rigid rules that children resent rarely stick. Rules that make sense to them, that they help create, and that they understand the reason for? Those work. They actually do.

The Core Rules (print and post on the fridge)

These six rules cover 95% of real situations. Keep them simple. Your child should be able to recite them without thinking.

1. Private accounts by default: Your profile is set to private. You only add people you know in real life – not random players, not “friends of friends”, not anyone whose real name and school you cannot verify.
2. Kind chat only: No insults, no pressure, no dares, no sharing other people’s pictures or videos without permission. If someone is being unkind, you leave the chat or block them.
3. No personal information: Never share your full name (first name is usually fine), school name, address, phone number, email address, or live location. Never.
4. Ask before adding new friends: If someone wants to add you from outside your known circle, you ask a parent first. We check them together.
5. Money and gifts are adult-only: Do not accept gifts, follow suspicious links, participate in trades, or discuss payments. If someone offers you free currency or items, that is a scam.
6. Tell me if you are unsure – no trouble: If a conversation feels odd, if someone asks for something that does not sit right with you, if a friend suddenly changes how they are acting – you tell me. You will never be in trouble for asking for help.

Quick Scripts: What Your Child Can Actually Say

Children often freeze when they need to say no or leave. Give them ready-made phrases they can use without thinking:

• Leaving a pushy chat: “I’m logging off now. Bye.” (then leave or mute the chat, do not engage further)
• Refusing to add someone: “I keep my game friends to people I know in real life.”
• Saying no to dares or pressure: “Not my thing.” (then switch games or join a different party)
• If someone asks for photos or personal details: “I don’t share photos or personal info. That’s my family rule.”
• If someone says “keep this secret”: “I can’t keep secrets from my parents.” (then tell you immediately)
• If someone claims to be an older teenager offering things: “I’m not interested.” (block, then tell a parent)

Practice these lines together. They sound silly at first, but muscle memory matters. When a child is flustered in the moment, these automatic phrases kick in.

Set Up Chat Safely: 15-Minute Setup for Every Platform

The default settings on most platforms are loose. Tighten them. Here is exactly what to do on the platforms your child actually uses:

Teach the Red Flags: What to Watch For

Sit down with your child and go through these warning signs together. Make it clear: if any of these happen, it is time to leave the chat and tell a parent.

• Pressure to keep secrets: “Do not tell your parents about this chat” or “Let’s move to a different app so no one sees us talking.”
• Requests for personal details or photos: Full name, school, address, phone number, video call, selfies, “just your face”, anything at all.
• Someone older pretending to be a peer: Claims to be your age but has inconsistent stories (sometimes says they are 14, sometimes 16). If you ask to video call, they make excuses.
• “Love bombing”: Suddenly someone is paying lots of attention to you – compliments, gifts, saying things like “no one gets you like I do” or “we have a special connection.”
• Links to “free Robux”, “free V-Bucks”, “free gift cards” or prizes: All scams. Every single one. If it sounds free, it is a trap.
• Requests to screen-share, remote access your device, or click links: This is how people steal accounts, install malware, or scam you.
• Money or payment requests: Even if it is framed as “just a small gift” or “trading”, avoid it completely.
• Pressure to do something you are uncomfortable with: Dares, sharing embarrassing videos, playing games you hate, staying up late to chat. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.

If Something Goes Wrong: Step-by-Step Response

If your child tells you something has happened – someone said something upsetting, they were pressured, they saw something wrong – here is exactly what to do:

1. Step 1 – Stay calm and thank them
   “I am so glad you told me. You did exactly the right thing. This is not your fault.” Repeat this. Children often fear blame when they come forward.
2. Step 2 – Listen without judgment
   Let them tell the story in their own words. Do not interrupt. Do not tell them what you think they should have done. Just listen.
3. Step 3 – Keep evidence
   Take screenshots of messages, usernames, links, or anything else. Save these somewhere safe (a folder on your computer, not just your phone). Do not delete the original chat yet.
4. Step 4 – Block and report in-app
   On the platform (Roblox, Discord, etc.), block the person immediately. Use the platform’s report function to flag inappropriate behaviour. Most platforms take reports seriously.
5. Step 5 – Tighten privacy settings
   Right now, while you are together, go back to the platform settings and make the account more private. This prevents the next problem.
6. Step 6 – Report to authorities if needed
   If sexual messages or images were involved, report to CEOP Safety Centre. If money was scammed, contact your bank and Action Fraud. These are your starting points.
7. Step 7 – Follow up and reassure
   Check in with your child in the following days. Make it clear: this was not their fault. You are there to support them, not blame them.

Create a Family Chat Agreement

Print this out, sit down together, and sign it. The act of signing makes it real. It says “we are in this together, and we both agree.”

Where to Get Help: UK and International Resources

• CEOP Safety Centre – Report exploitation or sexual abuse directly to UK police. Fast, confidential, and you can report online.
• NSPCC Online Safety – Expert advice, helplines, and guidance on every platform.
• Childline – Free, confidential support for children and young people. You can call or chat online.
• Internet Matters – Setup guides, safety tips, and step-by-step help for every platform and device.
• UK Safer Internet Centre – Education resources, reporting routes, and annual Safer Internet Day campaign.
• Action Fraud – Report scams, fraudulent links, money theft, or fake accounts.
• NCMEC CyberTipline – US-based reporting for international cases involving child exploitation or abuse material.

Download the Printable Guide

Print this out, stick it on the fridge, and come back to it when you need a refresher.

Download Family Rules for Online Chat (PDF)